


Delicious Hot Sch'moes

by thetreesgrowodd



Category: Toy Story Series (Movies)
Genre: Community: disney_kink, Innuendo, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-31
Updated: 2011-05-31
Packaged: 2017-10-19 23:44:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetreesgrowodd/pseuds/thetreesgrowodd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What are 'Delicious Hot Sch'moes' and why did Buzz make that face when he mentioned them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Delicious Hot Sch'moes

"What are sch'moes, anyway?" Woody asked.

"What?" Buzz looked startled.

"You remember, you said it last time we were getting ready for Cowboy Camp. 'Hot delicious sch'moes.'"

"Oh. Oh that. Nothing, nothing." Buzz waved his hand. "I meant s'mores, of course."

"Oh. But that look on your face when you said it..."

"Face?" Buzz asked, feigning distraction. He spotted Jessie and Bullseye across the room and called, "Hey, who's ready for Cowboy Camp?!"

"Buzz?" Woody grasped Buzz's shoulder and turned him, so they were face to face.

Buzz grinned blandly. "Sch'moes were something from my Academy days. I meant s'mores, but I obviously just said the wrong word. That's all."

"Oh, it's some Space Ranger thing," Woody said dismissively, with a shrug. He turned to walk away, then stopped and turned back to Buzz. "Why'd you make that face, then?"

"Hey, Rex! How are you today?"

Woody grabbed Buzz's wrist. "A-ha! Now I know you're hiding something!"

Buzz looked around. He sighed. "Fine. I'll tell you. But if, afterward, you wish I hadn't, don't blame me."

Woody crossed his arms, skeptically. "Uh-huh."

"Here." Buzz pulled Woody behind the dresser. They sat down, and Buzz leaned close and began in a low voice, "You know that before I came here to Andy's, I had a whole past. I have memories of it — realistic memories — even if it never really happened. And I was human, so some of the things I remember don't really make a lot of sense as a toy."

"Yeah."

"Well, when I went to the Academy, the older students taught the cadets about this... thing. 'Making delicious hot sch'moes' they called it. Though I have to say, the delicious part was a stretch." Buzz raised his eyebrows. "I was just a straight-arrow kid. I never planned on getting involved in any partying. But they forced all the freshmen to come to this wild party and taught us all about it. Boy did they teach us..." Buzz trailed off.

"Buzz."

"Hmm?"

"You're making that face again."

Buzz shook himself out of it. "It was kind of a tradition at the Academy. They'd make a holovid of the freshmen doing it, and you'd have to be their slave for a while to get them to destroy it."

"What, it's like a hazing thing?"

"Sometimes. Not necessarily. We'd get together in groups or even just with a friend. It was... well..." Buzz leaned even closer to Woody. "You know it was an all-male school. We'd go months without seeing a female. After a while, the guys would start to get a little pent up, so... Well, let me just tell you what happened at that first party..." Buzz whispered in Woody's ear for several minutes. Woody's eyes widened and his mouth hung slightly open.

"...Next thing I knew, it was morning and we were still in that closet and classes started in five minutes. Man, was it hard to get all of it cleaned off. Somebody had written 'Sch'moes Puppy,' on Everett's back in permanent marker. I saw it, but I didn't tell him because there was no time to scrub it off. Too bad we had swimming in P.E. that day. I don't think he ever lost that nickname." Buzz sat back, smiling reminiscently. "It certainly fit him."

Then Buzz noticed the look on Woody's face. "Look, I know none of it was real. And it's pretty weird. I don't know who came up with all of this or why it's in my head. And I certainly never thought that you and Andy would be making sch'moes at Cowboy Camp."

Woody cringed at the idea.

Buzz shrugged and stood up. "Andy's still too young for that kind of thing anyway. Maybe when he goes off to college. Oh, it's not like that, Woody. It's not all the crazy stuff at parties. In the right situation, between the right people who are doing it for the right reasons... and with some reasonable safety measures, making sch'moes can be..." Buzz trailed off, his eyes far away, trying to come up with the right word.

He was making that face again, but Woody didn't comment on it this time. He wasn't sure he could even speak.

"It's probably about time for you to go!" Buzz said suddenly, hauling Woody to his feet. "Are you ready? Well, you've got your hat." Buzz's hands brushed over it. "Arm securely attached?" He tugged on Woody's bad arm, and ran his finger down Andy's stitching. Woody flinched at the touch. "Good. Let's get you out there so Andy can find you!" He led Woody out to the center of the floor in Andy's room.

"I wonder..." Woody began, finding his voice. But when Buzz turned to face him, his face grew hot and he quickly said, "No, never mind."

"You wonder if toys can make sch'moes too. I've wondered that myself," Buzz said, a twinkle in his eye. "Maybe when you get back we can try it."

Woody gaped at him. The images that rushed into his mind overloaded all logical thought. There came the sound of footsteps in the hall. Buzz's face went rigid and he toppled where he stood. But Woody just stared at him, too shocked to think or move. Andy was already in the room before Woody remembered to go limp and inanimate.

Andy scooped up Woody, Jessie and Bullseye and ran downstairs with them. "Wow, Mom, Woody's ready to go to camp! I just caught him saying goodbye to Buzz!"


End file.
